ONE FLEW OVER THE CUCKOO’S NEST

I have officially lost all sense of sensibility when it comes to designing our Dragonflies nursery. Consumed by thoughts of projects I wish to accomplish, the question remains…which to do first. It does seem, however, that I will have the time. The Haiti disaster (immediate and devastating) has unfortunately brought our current adoption stage to a shrieking halt. Our AP is overwhelmed with current adoptions for rescued Haitian children and the ministry has been delayed by the overflow of paperwork needed in order to process these children into forever families. This leaves our provincial ‘go ahead’ waiting in a limbo “priority file stack” and it could be months before our files are logged into the system. Falling shy of the cuckoo’s nest, admittedly, I’m frustrated. The idea of adding further delays (logical reasoning or not) aggravates me, but we are helpless to situation and must try to be understanding. This of course, is easier said
then done.

Keeping busy with nursery helps me cope and allows me to focus on something other than our lengthening timeline. I saw these images online and thought I would give them a try – try being the key word in this sentence.

Project #1: Fabric Stuffed Name

…AND YES, she has a name! I know I keep calling her ‘our little dragonfly’ but my husband and I have decided to keep it as a secret, at least for the time being.

Project #2: Mobile

In keeping with my “Birdies” theme, I thought I would attempt to make this fun mobile/art piece. I bought some cheap, yet fun material at Fabricland, printed out the free template I found and attempted bird number one last night. The instructions said to sew it on a machine, but I did mine by hand. It’s not perfect, but it’s ok for a first try. One bird down, 10 to go!

IT'S FOR THE BIRDS

OnShop Hunting.
My newly thought up term; defined of course by “looking online for stores with hidden little gems, but not buying”. Strangely, it leaves you feeling quite satisfied and… the bank account remains intact (sometimes). Obviously, the hunt itself is the best part. I love looking for “creativity at its best” type items. You know the ones, they make you feel warm and happy inside when you see them, liked Grandma-made wool mittens.

Here is my favourite little thing that I found on today’s prowl.

Bird Tee

Shirin Roubeni's line of simple nature-inspired pictures on organic cotton tops are edgy - but not too edgy. The leopards, butterflies, dragonflies hand created by Roubeni and hand screened by her haven't lost their nobility when brought down to little kid sizes, but the ruffles on this bird give it just enough to take it into the little girl realm. Here miniature couture is funky, fun, but definitely still couture. Find it here at: Shirin NYC

CHICKY NURSERY 101

Ah, the fun of planning a nursery bedroom for a child I have yet to meet or know the age of. Lately, I have been skimming the net and stores to see if I would find anything I really liked out there in the “commercially made” world of retail but alas, I dislike all that I’ve seen. Ok – so maybe the word “dislike” is a bit harsh, but none of them feel right. I know, I know – why be so picky? My response, why not? Why not indulge in this moment – there are so few times in life to do so and I really want it to be special. After viewing all of the available pre-themed styles, I have decided not to follow any of them. Big surprise eh! The creative designer within is just unable to surcome to buying “Winnie the Poo” or “Dora the Explorer”. I just can’t!

So, that being said, after much procrastination, I finally have it…a vision that is! I have selected my colours and made some purchases so there’s no going back now. Here it is - my attempt at a classically original, high end looking, low cost spending, colourful and funky sleeping quarter for our little dragonfly…simply titled, BIRDIES!

I want it to fell like we are walking through a garden; a warm sun, pretty flowers and lots of colourful birds in all corners! Here’s the concept:

What I got so far:

• The paint is a custom mixed in a soft light grey, purchased from BMR.

• The accent colours are a creamy white, various blues, a vibrant yellow and black.

• The wall decal was purchased from a store called DeSerres. This pattern is called ‘Birds on Wires’. It’s black in colour -like a silhouette, is non-toxic and easily removable. I’m going to place this horizontally along the bed wall.

• I’ve never been one for rocking chairs, so I picked up this cheap, neutral chair at Ikea. It’s called the ‘Ektorp Tullsta Armchair’ and comes with a light taupe washable slipcover with cream coloured piping. It’s small, but cozy.

• The little round blue rug is also from Ikea. It is very rich in colour and ties in nice with the Embroidery on the bedcover. This was a great “under $20” buy.

• I bought a white floating shelf which is leaning up against the far wall. I will be installing this but I want to wait until all my major furniture items are in the room (like a crib, if we need) so I can place it according to height, etc.

• Two cute little bird prints. Now I just have to find frames for them.

• My Nana, now passed, had given me a beautiful antique single bed about 6 years back or so. It is a beautiful piece that I have kept in storage until now. Since we have no idea what age our little one will be, I’m going to set the room up with a space for a crib and this bed.

• My crafty carpenter father had made me a lovely pine hope chest when I was younger. It is still in mint condition, and I have decided to recycle it, reusing it as a toy box at the end of the bed.

• I found some great yellow sofa material for sale at Ikea in the ‘as is’ section, so my plan is to buy some dense foam and cover it with a slipcover which will be placed on top of the toy box for comfy seating. I’m also going to make a cover for the body pillow at the head of bed and if I have leftovers, I’ll make some matching pillow shams.

• The plush giraffe on the chair and the little bunny on the bed is super soft and were purchased from a store that I can’t for the life of me remember the name of. It was one of those “had no purpose, but had to purchase” purchases. I know what your thinking – how does a giraffe fit into my ‘Garden of Birds’ theme. Well frankly, it doesn’t. There was absolutely no logic in buying this item and although it looks completely out of place, it was just too cute to resist! Here's what the room looks like so far:

What I want to do next:

• An antique looking crystal chandelier – similar to the picture shown to the left. I love how girly and regal it looks, and it will provide a nice soft glow throughout.

• Bedside Table

• Lamp

• Maybe a small bookcase, if there’s room

• More artwork for walls

CRACKING OPEN A NEW EGG

Happy 2010! Over the holidays, we formally announced our adoption plans to our extended family and friends through a  custom Christmas card I designed. Everyone really liked the design and idea so I thought I would include it.

I have been receiving a wonderful response to this blog and the support shown has been overwhelmingly amazing. Many people have sent messages requesting more detail into the process, and to post more pictures and information on VN, so I am going to try to do so to the best of my ability – which is limited as I am still trying to figure it all out.

THE ADOPTION PROCESS [information solely reflects
our agency]

CHILD AVAILABILITY
Both infant boys and girls are available, as are toddlers, sibling groups and special needs children. Parents may specify preferred sex but will be required to somewhat validate reasoning. To be adopted, the child must be under 15 years old and if over 9 years old, must give his/her own consent to the adoption. Boys and girls are generally available in equal numbers. For those that request infants, the babies tend to be about 3-4 months old at referral and approximately 5-6 months old when the parents travel to receive the child.

SIBLINGS & SPECIAL NEEDS
While there is a backlog of families waiting for single healthy infants, it is often difficult to find homes for siblings and those with special needs. As such, our agency will accept dossiers (translated mount of legal paperwork) of parents right away who are willing to adopt siblings or a special needs child. They are not subject to the usual wait list.

PARENTAL REQUIREMENTS
Any adult having reached the age of majority is eligible. Parents must be 20 years older than the child. Single females are eligible. Couples must be married more than 2 years. Unfortunately, same sex or common law marriages are not recognized by the country of Vietnam and therefore, are not eligible.

WHY CHILDREN ARE AVAILABLE
As mentioned in a previous post, VN does not approve of single parenthood, and poverty is extremely high.

FAMILY BACKGROUND
If birth family information is known it will be provided with the child's documentation. This is unavailable if child has been abandoned.

MEDICAL INFORMATION
Children are taken to an international medical clinic for examination and testing, as appropriate to the child's age. Information provided in referral typically includes general health status, length/height, weight, head circumference, and tests completed for all major diseases, including HIV/AIDS and hepatitis. Infants in VN are thankfully now immunized against hepatitis A, which is a tremendous reassurance.

INTER-COUNTRY TIME REQUIRED
One trip to Vietnam is mandatory. Legal guardianship of child is granted to adoptive parents in a VN court authorized building. It is called the “Giving and Receiving Ceremony”. Average length of stay is 2-3 weeks.

CITIZENSHIP
Upon entering Canada, the child will have Permanent Resident status. Canadian citizenship is not automatic and must be applied for by the parents. The child retains his/her Vietnamese citizenship.

POST ADOPTION REQUIREMENTS
Vietnam requires a legal commitment to submit two reports annually for the first three years, then one annual report until child reaches 18 years.


VIETNAM, THE COUNTRY

LAND & SEA
Although many North Americans still imagine Vietnam through the lens of war, it is in reality a country filled with captivating natural beauty and tranquil village life. Its highlands and rainforest regions, far from being devastated, continue to yield new species and team with exotic wildlife. Its islands and beaches are among the finest in all of Southeast Asia, and its cuisine is very possibly the most delicious you will ever find. Over two decades have passed since Vietnam was officially united, and in that time it has done a remarkable job of healing its wounds. Today, this gracious and graceful country is an outstanding travel destination. Shaped like an elongated S, Vietnam stretches the length of the Indochinese Peninsula and covers a surface area of 128,000 square miles--making it roughly the size of Italy. China lies to the north, Laos and Cambodia to the west, and the South China Sea to the east.

Topographically, Vietnam is a verdant tapestry of soaring mountains, fertile deltas, primeval forests inhabited by exotic fauna, sinuous rivers, mysterious caves, otherworldly rock formations, and heavenly waterfalls and beaches. Beyond nature, the curious and open-minded visitor will find in Vietnam a feast of culture and history.

POPULATION & PEOPLE
VN is a country with 76,000,000 residents, of which more than half are children under 15. It is organized into some 55 provinces, each directed by a People’s Committee, the supreme authority, and each with one or more state-run orphanages. Eighty percent of these are ethnic Vietnamese, while the remaining twenty percent comprises more than fifty separate ethnic groups. About seven million of these ethnic minorities are members of the hill tribes or montagnards (French for mountain people), making their homes and livelihoods in the spectacular mountains of the north and central highlands. Among the many languages spoken in VN are Vietnamese, Chinese, English and French. Although it is a country with an extremely high literacy rate, the average income is still about $30 US per day.

VN can be thought of as comprising three unique areas: north, central, and south.

The North is known for its alpine peaks, the Red River Delta, the plains of Cao Bang and Vinh Yen, enchanting Halong Bay which the Vietnamese consider a wonder of the world.

This tranquil, magical bay is filled with more than a thousand limestone islands, which rise from the water in dramatic rock formations and harbour extensive grottos and caves. There is also the beautiful and historic Hanoi – the capital of VN. It is the second largest city and retains its French colonial ambiance. It is dotted with lakes and lovely parks.

Central VN is home to many ethnic minorities. It is rich in volcanic soil and has spectacular beaches, dunes, and lagoons. It is also the location of the ancient imperial city of Hue.

In the South, visitors encounter modern life in Ho Chi Minh City (formerly Saigon) and the fertile alluvial delta of the Mekong River. HCMC is Vietnam's largest city. Inside this dense, teeming metropolis are countless links to the past, including a number of notable shrines and temples.

CULTURE
The richness of Vietnam's origins is evident throughout its culture. Spiritual life in Vietnam is a grand panoply of belief systems, including Confucianism, Taoism, Buddhism, Christianity, and Tam Giao (which is a blend of Taoism, popular Chinese beliefs, and ancient Vietnamese animism)

The most important festival of the year is Tet, a week-long event in late January or early February that brings in and celebrates the new lunar year and the advent of spring. Celebration consists of both raucous festivity (fireworks, drums, gongs) and quiet meditation.

STRUCTURAL ART
Vietnamese architecture expresses the natural balance and harmony that is evident in any of the country's vast numbers of historic temples and monasteries. The pre-eminent architectural form is the pagoda (a tower comprised of a series of stepped pyramidal structures) The pagoda form symbolizes the human desire to bridge the gap between the constraints of earthly existence and the perfection of heavenly forces. Pagodas are found in every province of VN.

NATIVE TONGUE
As a language, Vietnamese is exceptionally flexible and lyrical, and poetry plays a strong role in both literature and the performing arts. Folk art has experienced a resurgence in beautiful woodcuts, village painting, and block printing and Vietnamese lacquer art is another traditional medium and is of the most sophisticated in the world. Music, dance, and puppetry, including the uniquely Vietnamese water puppetry, are also mainstays of the
country's culture.

FOOD
Although rice is the foundation of the Vietnamese diet, the country's cuisine is anything but bland. Deeply influenced by the national cuisines of France, China, and Thailand, Vietnamese cooking is highly innovative and makes extensive use of fresh herbs, including lemon grass, basil, coriander, parsley, lime, and chili. Soup is served at almost every meal, and snacks include spring rolls and rice pancakes. The national condiment is nuoc mam (a piquant fermented fish sauce) served with every meal. Indigenous tropical fruits include bananas, pineapples, coconuts, lychees, melons, mandarin oranges, grapes, and exotic varieties like the three-seeded cherry and the green dragon fruit.

THE GOOSE HAS COOKED

ALL THINGS MUST COME TO AN END!
Christmas holidays were great, but it's "back to grind" of employment tomorrow. I had hoped to paint the nursery while I was off as the paint has been sitting in my hallway for weeks, but we never seemed to get around to it. Perhaps it will get done over this coming weekend. We have more paperwork to fill out this week and a few things we need to mail to our AP (Adoption Practitioner) but we're almost done - at least until the next stack arrives!

A PARTRIGE IN A PEAR TREE

T'IS THE SEASON
Mr. Claus came to the house last night...and boy did he deliver. The stockings were stuffed, and the presents were left under the tree with care.

Sleeping in on holiday, although seemingly a grand idea, was not going to happen. I rudely awoke at 6am by our spoiled little brat, our morkie Pip, jumping on my head. I swear she's worse than a toddler.

The morning was perfectly lazy - brewed some coffee, ate some marble cake, opened our gifts, played with the dogs, visited the folks for a few hours and returned home to relax and eat some chocolate. It's a great day to kick back and do nothing.

T'WAS 2 TWEETS BEFORE CHRISTMAS

REALITY RECAP

From the very beginning of our relationship more than ten years ago, we spoke about how important it was for us to be a family. We love kids and without them in our lives something very important feels missing. Both my husband and I have large extended families, so when we finally took the conformative plunge into matrimony, we knew we wanted to start a family right away.

When things didn’t go as originally planned, we spent hours and hours worth of researching so that we could become informed of the adoption and fertility methods available to us, but after much discussion about our hopes and morals, we decided that adopting children internationally was the best decision for our family.

To us, the importance of becoming a family truly out weighed the method in which it occurred. Simply stated – we want to be parents. OMG – did I just admit that.

THE WHY'S
Time to answer the most common, sometimes ridiculous questions that we have received since we started to announce our plan to adopt:

Why can't you get pregnant? We never said we couldn’t,
we simply haven’t.

Why adopt? There are many ways to make a family. We decided this was the best path for us.

Why go international? The need is there, we fit the inter-country eligibility requirements and it suited what we wanted. Although international adoption is full of ups and downs, mounds of red tape, paperwork galore and many uncertainties, it is controllable and has the inevitable light at the end of the tunnel. This is not the case with private or domestic adoptions in Canada – there are no guarantees.

Why Vietnam? Tough to answer. Like a hot cup of hot cocoa in front of the fire on a cold winter’s night, the thoughts of a child from Vietnam warmed the sole and felt right. Although a vibrant and lovely country, Vietnam is among one of the poorest in the world and single parenthood is unfortunately unaccepted and severally frowned up on. Many children are abandoned or registered to the care of an orphanage because of this social prejudice and extreme poverty.

On a more positive note, VN is generally a healthy country. The Vietnamese eat well, get lots of natural vitamin D and actively take care of themselves. They also have very low percentages of drug and alcohol abuse, unlike Canada, which means that most little “dragonflies” come into the world healthy and without addiction.

Although VN is half way around the globe, it is a beautiful country with a culture that interested us both. When we decided on which country to pursue, it was important that we were not only willing to open our hearts and home to a Vietnamese child, but that we lovingly embrace the responsibility of teaching her about the heritage and culture of her birth country as we will forever be connected to it.

Why a girl? There are several personal reasons why we gender selected but they are just that, personal and they will remain so, respectively. However, let it be known to those who say “If you conceived a birth child, you’d get whatever grew within you, with no choice” This is true – but there’s also the misconception that adoption is a replacement for a pregnancy. Believe me it’s not, nor is it remotely comparable. It is just a different way to build a family and with it, came choices – this was ours.

EPIPHANY

Epiphany: the sudden realization or comprehension of the essence or meaning of something.

When I married my wonderful husband two years ago, I never would have imagined that I would one day be creating a personal blog about our journey to create a family. Even though we officially began this unbelievable adventure over four months ago, I have been apprehensive. Who knows, maybe I’m becoming superstitious as I get older or perhaps I was scared to start typing until we got the final approval to proceed. Now that we have it and are moving forward in what feels like a lightening bolt, it feels surreal. I'm going to be a mommy...

WAITING FOR YOU - MOMMY DIARIES

Today, we went down to the International Fingerprinting Services office and had our prints taken. It was a very quick and painless process and the files were sent automatically to the RCMP, which will save us a step.

WAITING FOR YOU - MOMMY DIARIES

We had our homestudy meeting #2 today. Everything seemed to be going well. We discussed some of the results from the papers we had submitted. It was interesting to see how well they truly described each of our individual personalities. We also went over some details about selecting gender and country. Diane seems very nice. She is easy to talk to, very helpful and has lots of good information for us. At the end of the meeting, we were sent home with another stack of paperwork to fill out. We will also need to get electronically fingerprinted and photographed in order for the RCMP to do our Interpol checks, which is a mandatory requirement for International Adoption.

WAITING FOR YOU - MOMMY DIARIES

Got an email from TDH saying:

I have received your cheque for the registration fee and forwarded it to our Montreal office, and registered you on the TDHO Preliminary Waitlist.
I cannot accept your homestudy right now, I will communicate with you when I am able to transfer you onto the process list which will mean that you can send me your homestudy (I don’t expect this to happen before 1st quarter of 2010). I hope this helps you understand the process.
Manon

WAITING FOR YOU - MOMMY DIAIRES

Daddy and I had our homestudy meeting #1 with Diane today. It lased for a few hours but I think it went well. She seems very nice and said that we sounded like excellent candidates. She sent us home with a stack of paperwork to fill out. Some of the things we need to do now are: Get medicals done for both of us, get a police record check done for both of us, get a child welfare checks done for both of us, read and sign two different memorandums, sign our contract for our Diane, get our house in order for the home safety inspection, get everything organized for our Home Safety check and fill out a questionnaire for Myers Briggs. We also had to write personal Autobiographies explaining our relationship with parents, our childhood and explain why we want to adopt and what we want to provide for you.

WAITING FOR YOU - MOMMY DIARIES

We just made it by a few days, but we are almost on the list. We are SO happy!

WAITING FOR YOU - MOMMY DIARIES

I went on to the TDH website today to see if any new updates had been listed. To my shocking surprise, there was a new tagline added saying: TDH Vietnam Program Full

I immediately panicked, as we had not heard anything from TDH since Daddy had mailed our Application in on Aug14. I urgently sent an email inquiry to TDH asking if someone could get back to me as soon as possible, confirming whether or not we made it in on time. The thought of having to start all over was a horrible feeling and I began to feel my heart sinking…but just then (as I was talking to Nanny, who was trying to calm me down) I received a reply email. I started at it for a few moments (scared to open it), took a deep breathe with Nanny still on the phone with me and began to cry uncontrollable tears of joy as I read;
 
Hello Jennifer,
I received your application this morning!
Do not worry, you will be placed on the preliminary waitlist.
I left you a message on your voicemail at home asking you to send the registration fee and that you had just made the cut-off.
Cheers! Manon
 
Phew, we just made it by a few days, but we are almost on the list. We are SO happy!

WAITING FOR YOU - MOMMY DIAIRES

We filled out and mailed our official Preliminary Application to Terres Des Hommes.

Daddy and I went for supper tonight, to celebrate the first step taken with our selected Agency; the mailing of our Application for a Vietnam Adoption. As part of the TDH forms, we had to write a paragraph on why we want to adopt – this is what we wrote to them:

From the very beginning of our relationship more than nine years ago, we spoke about how important it was for us to be a family. We love children and without them in our lives something very important is missing. We both come from large families and so when we finally married two years ago, we knew we wanted to have children. The need to become parents has been what has led us and our hearts here to writing this letter with the utmost sincerity... When we learned of the many children around the world, specifically in Vietnam, in need of loving homes, we knew this was our calling. After a few years of attempting to become pregnant, we have accepted that this may never be a possibility. To us, the importance of becoming a family truly out weighs the method in which it occurs – as the addition of a child or children would finally make our family whole and this is why we want to adopt. We feel we have a lot to offer a child(s), as they would us. Dirk and I have a wonderful, fun loving relationship. We have grown together over the years, supporting each other with all endeavours, over coming many of life’s obstacles and still our love and life together continues to grow stronger and better with every passing day. We have a wonderful family surrounding us, filled with love, laughter, support and encouragement and if we are fortunate enough to be able to share our lives with that of an adopted child(s), we will devote everything we have, and everything we are to making sure their life is filled with joy and happiness. We thank you with all our hearts for considering us and for helping to make our dreams of a “complete” family come true.

WAITING FOR YOU - MOMMY DIARIES

Today, we announced to both our parents and your Aunty Chantale that we began the process to bring you home. They are all very excited, as are we. We asked Chantale to be your legal guardian should anything happen to us. She accepted immediately and said she would be honoured!

WAITING FOR YOU - MOMMY DIARIES

I did our preliminary draft of forms to send with cheque for our PRIDE Training; will have Daddy double check before sending. Must go to the bank and switch funds over. Cheque sent! Phew.

WAITING FOR YOU - MOMMY DIARIES

Martha wrote me back, attaching our outline for costs, dates and times. Daddy and I will fill these out over the next few days and send them off on Wednesday with our payment included.

WAITING FOR YOU - MOMMY DIARIES

Went online, found directory for up coming PRIDE Training courses – the next available date is in October, so I have sent an email out to the Director asking for the Registry Application.